Joon: a cousin
Benny and Joon are walking out of the house followed by Mike
Mike: hey guys, rules are rules, without them there’s no order in the universe
Benny: oh don’t give me that crap. you took advantage
Joon: of your sick sister. a heart flush is a perfectly respectable hand
Mike: Not respectable enough
Benny: hey shut up Mike. I am not taking this guy home
Mike: you have to man. remember the bet I lost last year. I had to re-plant your socket set. I didn’t
back out did I?
Benny: you cant bet a human being!
Mike: oh, well if your going to be a baby about it
Benny: all right Mike. You want to play like that? I’ll take him home. i may not be responsible for
what I’m going to do to him but I’ll take him.
Mike: oh man, what are you doing you stupid jerk?
Sam: Oh there’s something wrong with your car
Mike: what did you do with my hob caps?
Sam: I don’t know. I’m Sam
Benny: so I here. I’m Benny
Sam: with an N?
Benny: yeah two of ‘em. This is Joon
Sam: with an N?
Joon: one. You’re out of you’re tree
Sam: its not my tree
Benny: I think I need a beer
Mike: hey Benny, wait a minute. Where are you going? Come here man, give me a job. Hey! You’re going
Sam dances with some rolls of bread
Benny: oh god bless you.
Sam knocks the tray out of the waitress’s hands and catches it. He hands it to the customers but switches
Ruthie: hey pal, we’re trying to work here if you don’t mind
Sam: oh my god. I’ve just been looking for my boyfriend. Have you seen him? He’s a cute guy with
a little mole on his right cheek.
Man: Ruthie one of your ghosts come back to haunt you?
Sam: (screaming) oh Brad, Brad, Brad please don’t be dead. I never got a chance to tell you what you
mean to me. Oh Brad please. Its you you’re you, Ruthie Melanie. Co-star of the prom queen mutilator with Dick Beebe.
Ruthie: you saw that?
Sam: he was mine, he was mine. No Sindy you’re sick. Sindy you need help, no Sindy, no, no, no! (pretends
to stab himself)
Benny and Joon’s house
Sam looks around the room and sees Joon’s paintings. He puts his finger in the wet paint and lick’s
Joon: don’t touch it
Sam: its paint
Sam: Kirk Douglas, Van Gough ear (makes a scissor action with his hand)
Benny: these are yours. You’ll sleep here all right? Come on its late. Lets brush you’re teeth
Joon: I can brush my own teeth Benjamin
Joon: hair too
Benny: perfect. Come on
Sam: oh, oh Benny. Hey Benny. Thanks for the couch. Erm Mike made me sleep under the sink.
Benny: oh you’re welcome. Good night
Sam: good night
Sam is sleeping and Joon is drawing him. He moves so Joon quickly pits them away.
In the bathroom
Sam: mentally ill. Really?
Benny: yeah. Benny: but I mean don’t worry about it. Just let her go about her routine, you know. Her
routine is everyday therapy. Oh and don’t hang around her room while she’s painting. She hates that.
Benny: she runs hot and cold on you, just ignore it. That’s just the way it works. Oh listen erm, she
starts talking to herself, don’t worry about it but don’t answer.
Benny: she sometimes hears voices in her head. That comes with the territory too. And erm just make sure that
nothing and I mean nothing happens to her
Benny goes out to work and leaves Joon and Sam. Joon is making a breakfast smoothie and Sam is watching as
he walks in.
Joon: having a Boo Radley moment are we?
She hands Sam a glass of smoothie.
Benny: good morning
Benny: this today?
Eric. Yeah. So erm what did you do with the cousin? The bus station? The river? What? You throw him in the
Benny: (laughs) no, I took him home
Eric: you took him home?
Eric: to your house?
Benny: yeah to my house
Eric: what are you crazy?
Benny: hey believe me its only temporary
Eric: great, maybe he can tell Joon about the group home
Benny: listen, if I’m going to do this group home thing I’ve got to figure out the best way to
tell her, you know what I mean. Where’s Waldo? Is he not here yet?
Benny: all right that’s it I’m going to have a talk with him
Eric: no your not
Benny: yes I am. I’m calling him right now. What’s his phone number?
Benny and Joon’s house
Sam is cleaning and Joon is in the garden. She hears the loud music that Sam is playing and runs inside.
Joon: aah, too loud.
Sam: aah, what? (Joon points to the radio) oh.
He switches the radio off and Joon takes it away.
Benny walks home as he walks in he sees Joon alone at the table
Benny: hey where’s Sam?
Joon: I didn’t mean to kick him out. I mean I didn’t kick him out he just left.
Benny: whoa, whoa, whoa what, what happened? Did something happen?
Joon: he just he just left. He was, he was in the air and, and, and with a thing and it was really loud. It
was really loud. And all, I just kept seeing. He didn’t mean to do it.
Benny: do it? What? What, did he, what did he do?
Joon: he cleaned the house
Benny: and you kicked him out for that?
There is a knock on the door and a jack-in-the-box is left on the floor. Joon picks it up. They both look
up and see Sam sat on the mail box.
Joon: maybe I should invite him back in
Benny: yeah before someone sticks a stamp on his head and mails him to Guam.
Back in the house
Sam is making grilled cheese sandwiches with an iron
Joon: some cultures are defined by their relationship to cheese
Benny: is that a fact?
Joon is in bed and Benny walks in
Joon: he can really cook cant he?
Benny: uh-uh yeah. All for the grilled cheese I might of used the wool setting.
Joon: that’s what I told him
Benny: really? What did he use?
Joon: rayon. Silk would have been too soggy. Cotton would
Benny: would of burned it
Joon: right. Fortunately he consulted me before giving it steam. I was four square against it. I wish he could
be my new smeal.
Joon hums a tune and they both start singing the words. It flashbacks to when they were kids and their parents
died in a car crash.
Benny: good night
Joon: good night
The next morning and Sam is writing a letter to him mum
Joon: you need some help? Dear mum, I have departed Mikes with love and gratitude and am not living with Benny
and Joon pearl, two magnificently devoted new friends. Benny’s pre-disposition to hyper tense Irish monologue is sub
standing and he has given me a job as a domestic engineer and is pleased with my performance so far. Love Sam
Sam: wow, I didn’t know how to talk like that
They go outside and post the letter
Joon: oh, yes
In the diner
Sam: thank you Ruthie
Ruthie: you’re welcome Sam. Let me know if you need anything ok?
Sam: you don’t like raisins?
Joon: not really
Joon: they used to be fat and juicy and now they’re twisted like they had their life stolen. They taste
sweet but really they are just humiliated grapes. I cant say I’m a big supporter of the raisin council.
Sam: did you see those raisins on TV? The ones that sing and dance and stuff
Joon: they scare me
Sam: yeah me too
Joon; its sick, commercial people make them sing and dance so people will eat them
Sam: it’s a shame about raisins
Sam; yeah. Do you like avocadoes?
Joon: they’re a fruit you know.
Sam: Ruthie, do you got any avocadoes?
At Benny and Joon’s house
He looks outside and sees a car pull up. Ruthie, Sam and Joon get out of the car.
Joon: you’re very pretty when you’re off work Ruthie
Ruthie: thank you. Maybe I should quit my job huh?
Benny: where the hell have you two been?
Ruthie: oh don’t worry, they were with me. We were just running some errands.
Benny: oh how you doing?
Benny; running errands? You ran an errand?
Joon: yes I did, I ran an errand.
Joon hands Benny two new fish
Benny: oh look
Joon; they are both named Steven. One with a V and one with a PH.
Sam: look, look, look Ruthie’s movie
Joon: yes and she’s staying for dinner too
Benny: come on in, come on in
By the river
Benny: so why did you leave?
Ruthie: LA? I wasn’t that good of an actress
Benny: well that’s not how Sam tells it. He’s raving about you
Ruthie: yeah well, he’s sweeter than he is judgemental. How long have you known him?
Benny: Sam? Erm 72 hours
Ruthie: be serious
Benny: I am, serious
Benny: I’m always serious, I’m too serious. Did you ever get to the point in your life when nothing
makes any sense?
Inside watching the movie
Sam is talking along with the movie
Outside trying to start Ruthie’s car
Benny: try it again. Now there’s only two reasons a car wont start. Either you’re not getting
fuel or you’re not getting fuel. You’ve got fire. I think you’d better let me drive you home. Sorry
Pulling up outside Ruthie’s house
Ruthie: here it is, right here
Benny; 2nd job huh/
Ruthie: yeah got to make those ends meet you know
Benny: this is just how I imagined your place. Well…
Ruthie: you want to come in? Or you want to…
Benny: oh no I’ll come in, for a minute. Whoa! What is this? Nice porch.
Ruthie: pretty nice fish Joon gave you
Benny: oh yeah, those fish. Yeah I was shocked I was… Nice fish, I mean yeah
Ruthie: I never had a fish
Benny: what? Not even as a kid?
Ruthie: no, under privileged childhood I guess
Benny: down right un-American if you ask me
Benny: you can have one of mine if you want
Ruthie: no I couldn’t possibly. They were a gift
Benny: but you know you could borrow it. But you know we could share it. Like joint custody. You could take
it on the weekends you know. What is this?
Ruthie: sit down son, you’re making me nervous
Ruthie: want a beer?
Benny: yeah, you know what I’d better not. I gotta’ get goin’. I better get goin’
Ruthie: yeah ok
Benny: I’ll take a rain check on the beer
Ruthie: ok I got the doors
Benny: want to go to dinner?
Ruthie; ever been married?
Benny: yeah? Great. See you
Ruthie: see you
Benny: see you
Benny and Joon’s house
Sam and Joon kiss. Sam blows up a balloon and lets the air out of it slowly so it makes a tune. It pops and
At the social workers office
SW: see you next week
Joon: right thank you
SW: Benny, would you come inside a minute?
SW: who’s the new house keeper?
Benny: the new… oh! This… friend just came to stay with us for a while but…
SW: Joon tells me he’s a man
Benny: well you know Joon, how flowery she gets with words
SW: she she’s lying? I mean is it a man or isn’t it?
Benny: well yes technically. He’s really just a guy, a friend.
SW: so where does this leave the group home decision? I take it you havent talked to her about it yet
Benny: no I erm
SW: the admission date is less than a week away
Benny: but you see the thing is she’s really doing fine. She seems content and everything. Lets just
leave it at that for now
SW: let me know when you want to talk to her about it
Benny: I’ll let you know. Ok bye
Sam walks into the video store and takes the help wanted sign off the window
Sam: I wanna help
Owner: ah wonderful ok. If you’d like to fill out this application I’ll be right with you.
Sam picks up the pen and writes his name. He folds up the application and walks out of the shop.
Benny and Joon are back at the house. Joon is scrubbing Benny’s finger nails.
Benny: not so hard
Joon: wow, you actually have cuticles
Benny: I know its amazing. What the hell is he doing?
Joon: Mashed potatoes. So are you and Ruthie considering item hood? Are you? Benjamin and Ruthie sitting in
a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then come marriage
Benny: get out of here
Joon: then comes little Ruthamins and Benjamins and babys …
Benny: I’m just taking her out to dinner
Sam is downstairs making mashed potatoes with a tennis racket
Benny and Ruthie are coming home from their date
Ruthie: (laughing) That’s a good joke
Benny: you like that?
Ruthie: uh-uh. What time you got?
Benny: its eleven.
Ruthie: on the nose?
Benny: right exactly
Ruthie: don’t think I’ve ever asked anybody the time before and it be right on the nose
Benny: (laughs) that’s weird isn’t it? Its right on the nose
Ruthie leans over and kissed Benny
Ruthie: do you, do you want to come in for a while? I erm, I got that beer waiting for you
Benny: erm you know what? I should probably go
Benny: listen erm can I tell you something?
Benny: erm you see my life is just real complicated and
Ruthie: give me a break Benny I just offered you a bear ok
She gets out of the car and runs inside
In the park the next day. Sam, Benny and Joon are sat on a rug.
Joon: why don’t we pick up Ruthie and get some ice cream?
Sam: yeah lets get her
Benny: cos, she doesn’t want to talk to me
He tries to put his hat on his head but it just pops off again. He does it to Joon and tries to do it to Benny.
Benny: come on we should go. Knock it off.
He knocks the hat out of Sam’s hand and it goes flying. Sam does an acrobatic show for the people in
Benny: he is, he’s incredible. He’s amazing
Joon: did you have to go to school for that?
Sam: no no I got thrown out of school for that
Sam: oh yeah
He stands on a bench and walks over it
Benny: hey listen why don’t you guys go on ahead? I’m going to hang around here for a while. Ok?
Benny: yeah go ahead. I’ll see you at home later. all right?
Benny; that was, that was great.
Sam: no no
Benny: thank you
Sam: no thank you. bye bye
Benny tries to do the trick with the bench that Sam did.
Back at the house
Sam and Joon are sat on the sofa and kiss.
Sam: I, I love you
Joon: me too. don’t tell Benny
Joon hears Benny coming in so gets up and goes to her bedroom
Next morning, Benny is in the shower
Benny: did you see the way you had everybody in the palm of you’re hand? Huh? You’ve got this
gift and you shouldn’t ignore it you should be out there doing something with it.
Sam: like what?
Benny: I don’t know all I know is that they were saying this guy is something else. You’re special.
You’re not some regular schmoe like the rest of us who do it because we have to do it. You’re blessed
Sam: how sick is she?
Benny: plenty sick. Now listen to me, I’ve been doing some thinking
Sam: because it seems to me that, well except from being a little mentally ill, she’s pretty normal
Benny: do you realise you could be the next Buster Keeton?
Sam is sat outside the video store contemplating whether to go in
Sam goes in and talks to the owner. He has the job.
In the garage
Benny: I’m telling you, Randy listen to me, you’ve got to see this guy. Tell him Eric
Eric: he’s funny
Benny: he’s truly amazing. Will you see him?
Randy: yeah I’ll see him
Benny: you’ll see him?
Randy: yeah you never know, you know most of these guys work locally but some of them, the better ones, you
can book in the out of town clubs
Benny: you book them out of town?
Randy: I book them all over. Detroit, Boston, sometimes LA
Benny: Whoa! Randy can you see him tonight?
Randy: I’d love to see him tonight
Ruthie: is my car ready?
Benny: how you doing? Oh come on in, come on in. Erm listen erm I want to apologise for the other night. It
came out all wrong
Ruthie: no no its ok
Benny: no I do
Ruthie: how’s my car?
Benny: oh its running great. Your fuel pump was shot so I threw in a new one. Its running great
Ruthie: how much do I owe you?
Benny: I’ll tell you what. Just gibe me $30 for the part and I’m not going to charge you for the
labour. All right? Ok?
Benny: listen if you’re not doin’ anything later I just lined up this thing for Sam
Ruthie: what thing?
Benny: well its like an audition. Maybe his chance to make a living at all this crazy stuff that he does.
Who knows? Maybe he could travel, play clubs. I don’t know, you know? So if you’re not doing anything later and
you feel like…
Ruthie: I don’t know Benny. I got food to deliver, apartments to rent. My life’s pretty complicated
right now, you know? Thanks. Bye
At Benny and Joon’s house
Benny: we’ll lay out the whole routine right after dinner. You know what you could start with? Remember
the role thing you were doing at the diner?
Joon: who died and made you Ed McMahon?
Benny: what’s your problem? This is his chance to do something, be somebody
Joon: he is somebody
Benny: yeah I know, but he wants to be more
Joon: you don’t know what he wants
Benny: I know he doesn’t want to be a house keeper for the rest of his life. If you’re worried
about getting a new Smeal we’ll get you a new Smeal
Joon: he’s not my Smeal
Benny: house keeper, whatever
Joon: we have to tell him
Benny: what? Tell me what?
Sam: err Benny…Joon… and… and I… are… you know.
Benny: bullshit! You…
He gets up and drags Sam from the table
Sam: no, no
Benny: get the fuck out!
Joon: you cant throw him out. I won him
Benny: just settle down, just settle down
Joon: I love him!
Benny: yeah? Well you’re crazy!
Joon: I am not crazy
Benny; you see what we’ve come to? You see?
He gets out the group home leaflet
Joon: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you
In Joon’s bedroom
Benny: can I get you anything?
Benny: tapioca? Ok. Anything on it?
He goes downstairs and checks the fridge. There is none left so he goes out to get some. Sam is sat in the
tree outside and Joon burns a picture of her and benny when they were children. Sam goes to the door and Joon goes out to
Benny arrives at Ruthie’s house
Benny: hi. How you doin’?
Ruthie: you’re out late
Benny: yeah. Listen… do you have any tapioca?
Ruthie: jeez Benny, I’ve heard a lot of lines in my time but…
Benny: no, no, no its not for me. Its for Joon
Ruthie: come on in
Sam and Joon get on the bus with two bags. They sit down and Joon starts to talk to herself
Joon: I cant hear you
Sam: Joon. Ok?
Sam: good good good
He tries to calm her down
Joon; I’m not no, no I’m not
Sam: ok? All right? Hold tight ok? Shh. Its ok. Its ok
Joon: I am not, I am not, I am not
Joon starts to cry and Sam is still trying to calm her down
Joon: shut up!
Sam: no, no, no, no. Shh. Shh. Joon. Please. Come on
Joon: no its not all in my head
Sam: sir? Sir! Stop the bus! Please stop the bus!
Benny is driving back fromRuthie’s and he sees the bus stopped. An ambulance arrives and the crew climb
aboard the bus
Joon: I don’t want to talk to you
AM1: all righty. You want to step out?
Sam: yeah ok, ok
AM1: how you doin’ hon.?
Joon: you think I don’t know who you are. I know just who you are. So just leave, leave. Leave! don’t
touch me! don’t touch me!
They grab her and put her in the ambulance. Benny runs to the front of the crowd of people
Benny: Joon, Joon!
He sees Sam sat in the ambulance
At the mental hospital
Benny: look I a going to see my sister. Would you please tell me her room number?
Woman: please sir, just come back in the morning
Benny: let me talk to her god damn doctor
In the social workers room
SW: I’m sorry. She doesn’t want any visitors. Not you or anyone else
Benny: she doesn’t want to see me?
SW: no and she doesn’t want to leave. Benny why don’t you go home? Get some sleep. I promise I’ll
keep in touch
He goes out of the room and sees Sam in the waiting room
Benny: I hope your happy. I hope you’re happy with what you have done to her.
He grabs Sam
Benny: you just stay the hell away from my sister
Sam: no, no
Benny: want to know why everybody laughs at you Sam? Because you’re an idiot. You’re a first class
Sam: you’re scared
Benny: I’m what?
Sam you’re scared. I can see it. And you know why? I used to look up to you but know I cant look at
you at all.
It flashes to Joon in bed and Benny walking by the trains. It shows Joon again but awake by the window and
Sam at Ruthie’s. Benny is playing with a jack-in-the-box back at the house and Sam is outside the hospital.
At the video store
Sam: I think that Fred Astatine is the way to go
Sam: that’s a good choice
Lady: who’s that woman who starred in the roman…
Sam looks up and sees Benny
Sam: Audrey hepburn
Lady: yeah Sam. Thanks a lot
Sam: have a nice day. Can I help you?
Benny: yeah I hope so.
At the mental hospital
Sam and Benny are in a room. Thomas walks in